Being Single Sucks/Is Great

Everyday I have different emotions about being single, one day I love it! I can do what I want, when I want, with who I want and don't have to worry about anyone but me!

Other days it sucks, days when I'm ill and need a cuddle, days when I've had a bad day at work and have no one to tell about it!

When I was younger I always wanted the perfect fairy tale of falling in love, getting married, having children etc but as I have grown older I realise that its not that easy. I have been hurt a lot in the past, when I put my wall down I give everything to that person and when it goes wrong it probably effects me more then most people.... each time I have reacted differently and its means that each new relationship I see things in a different light.

I hold on to the good in everyone, even when I have been treated badly. Because I've been treated badly so much when I get a bit of good I really take it to heart and put the bad stuff behind me even when I shouldn't.

I'm at a point in my life that of course I want to find someone, but I need it to be the right person!

Each ex has taught me something and I'm sure over these blogs things will come out about them! But lets just deal with 2017/2018 people!

Last year (2017) I went on a few dates beginning of the year with a few different people but then in March I got set up with a person who I ended up seeing for a couple of months and completely fell for them because I let me walls down too early, it didn't work out and I always held on to the hope it would eventually sort itself out but found out the other day that's not the case and never will be. I get annoyed at myself I didn't put it behind me when I started to get treated like I wasn't a person with feelings, but seeing the good, and remembering the good does that to you. (If this person reads this I hope you do find what you want and I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you)

I dated a few other people later on in 2017, and then started seeing a guy who from the beginning people were warning me about but silly old Jade didn't listen and gave the benefit of the doubt! Everything was going really well for the month and then all of a sudden nothing..... and the typical its not you its me! This happened again just after I started letting my guard down even though I gave him the door to leave before we even got to that stage (as I said to him, I only want him in 2018 if he sees this going somewhere)! but its my fault and should have listened to people! I think this hurt more due to the build up of everything!

So the start of 2018 didn't go well, and trying to hang on to the past also hasn't helped! I have just realised all the negative stuff I have said and not the positive! I have amazing friends who I go out with all the time and will always be there for me! I don't need just anyone I want the person who will treat me like a princess and I do need to think more of myself and not get walked over!

Valentines day was yesterday, and as Bridget Jones younger sister, I spent it with my second family (Kassey and the Kids who I'm sure will come up again!) and realised that love doesn't just have to be from a boyfriend or girlfriend but from a friend and family too! xxxxxx