Why have I stopped blogging?

A lot of people have asked me recently why I haven’t blogged in a while and that they enjoyed reading them when I did and the truth is, I don’t feel like I have anything interesting to say?!

To be honest I’m fed up, fed up of feeling down, fed up of how I look, fed up of being tired, fed up of never being good enough...

I then get annoyed at myself as I know so many people have it worse then me! but it’s hard when life keeps throwing obstacles in the way!

I’m trying to put myself in situations where I can improve certain areas but when they go wrong I feel like I take a million steps backwards! Oh and they always seem to go wrong!!

Part of me just wants to live in my little bubble, that way I can’t get hurt, can’t get broken and can just be selfish for once in my life but unfortunately that’s not how my mind works and all I want to do is help the people around me!

When I got ill last year, I spent a lot of time by myself out of choice, recently I let someone in for a few weeks and it made me realise I can feel again after a lot of dates and chats which seemed to be going no where and I was beginning to worry !! But obviously even though I had known this person for 8 years and told them my worries (and was reassured on a number of occasions I was wrong) of course I should have trusted my instinct and not gone there because it seems if you date me for a certain amount of time (anything from 3 weeks to 3 years) it makes your realise your ex, work colleague or long time friend is suddenly the person they want to be with and little old me is stood there with MUG on my face and I told you so look!

On another note if you want to find the person you think your meant to be with I'm going to start charging so line up!

I was talking to my best friend about everything and she agreed the last 4 years of my life have been horrible but told me how strong I am as a person even after listening to my numerous break downs. I don't believe I am, I just get on with what life deals me and sometimes I have days I don't want to get out of bed and others I need to be so busy I don't have time to think.

At the moment I'm not happy with much in my life. I have work issues, money issues, body issues and relationship issues (Not just men ones) but I have a roof over my head, friends who listen to me when I need and a doggie who I force my cuddles on when I want.

I guess the reason I don't want to blog is that I don't want them to be so negative, I want some to be fun and risky and I guess with everything over the last year I felt the negative ones would come up trump!

I will try, maybe writing a blog each week is something I can start doing for me! (Send me ideas if you have anything you want to read about from my perspective as this might help!)

So with that I wish you goodbye and goodnight, I hope to speak to you again soon xx